Effects of Language-Embedded Negativism on Parenting (Comparative StudyBetween Chinese & American Childrearing Practices)
Today was rainy. As I came through the community gate, the security guard parted ways with "Stay dry!"
In the backseat, G asked me what the nice old man said in Chinese. As I searched for a suitable translation, the best I could come up with was, "保持乾燥 (bao ce gan zhou)," which was the exact same translation as on Google Translate. But the term "保持乾燥 (bao ce gan zhou)" in Chinese is not used in this context or on people at all. Rather, it's used on materials (e.g., food, machinary, supplies, etc.). "要乾乾的唷 (gan gan de - be dry)" didn't make much sense, either.
And no matter how I wring it, I couldn't find an appropriate phrase without a negative connotation: "別淋到雨 (Don't let it rain on you)" and "不要淋濕 (Don't get wet)."
This sure got me thinking: how negative connotation affects parenting in different cultural context.
In Chinese language, the term "Don't" is vastly used. There are so many different types of "Don't" than in in English.
別 (bie)
不要 (bu )
不可以
不能夠 (bu gou)
沒辦法
不用 (bu yong)
不該
不好
不行
It's not to say that these words don't have a direct translation in English. But orally, these words are more often used in conversations in Mandarin than in English.
For example, if a child is holding a cupful of juice, a Chinese parent would say, "不要灑出來 (Don't spill it)." On the other hand, an American parent would say, "Watch out for your juice."
This negative connotation can range from correcting their misbehavior to
And it is to be noted that even though the phrases used are in themselves negative, by no means are they to be mean-spirited. However, I do wonder how these negative connotations are affecting children and how they view the world around them.
For example, a 3-year-old little Chinese girl brought her own toy to a gathering of friends and family. Another little girl of the same age were interested in playing the same toy and proceeded to grab the toy from her. In developmental terms, this is a rather common reaction for children this age. The sense of possession begin to emerge, and children actually perceive their playthings as part of themselves.
The mother of the first little girl urged her to share the toy, and as any other 3-year-old, she bulked and refused. Instead of continuing to encourage the little girl to share her precious toy, the mother started to verbally label her as "always being stingy (小氣) and overbearing (霸道)" to rest of the friends around. And this is quite a common occurrence in Chinese culture. The mother might have done that in a way to apologize for her daughter's unwillingness to share her toy. Perhaps she did so to dodge any criticism on her parenting she might receive from rest of her friends and family. It could also be easier to place the "blame" of such "unpoliteness" onto the child, who might be forgiven by the public than an adult. But what about that little girl? Won't she think that she's actually "stingy and overbearing"? Will those labels continue to plague her as she grow up?
Thoughts?
In the backseat, G asked me what the nice old man said in Chinese. As I searched for a suitable translation, the best I could come up with was, "保持乾燥 (bao ce gan zhou)," which was the exact same translation as on Google Translate. But the term "保持乾燥 (bao ce gan zhou)" in Chinese is not used in this context or on people at all. Rather, it's used on materials (e.g., food, machinary, supplies, etc.). "要乾乾的唷 (gan gan de - be dry)" didn't make much sense, either.
And no matter how I wring it, I couldn't find an appropriate phrase without a negative connotation: "別淋到雨 (Don't let it rain on you)" and "不要淋濕 (Don't get wet)."
This sure got me thinking: how negative connotation affects parenting in different cultural context.
In Chinese language, the term "Don't" is vastly used. There are so many different types of "Don't" than in in English.
別 (bie)
不要 (bu )
不可以
不能夠 (bu gou)
沒辦法
不用 (bu yong)
不該
不好
不行
For example, if a child is holding a cupful of juice, a Chinese parent would say, "不要灑出來 (Don't spill it)." On the other hand, an American parent would say, "Watch out for your juice."
This negative connotation can range from correcting their misbehavior to
And it is to be noted that even though the phrases used are in themselves negative, by no means are they to be mean-spirited. However, I do wonder how these negative connotations are affecting children and how they view the world around them.
For example, a 3-year-old little Chinese girl brought her own toy to a gathering of friends and family. Another little girl of the same age were interested in playing the same toy and proceeded to grab the toy from her. In developmental terms, this is a rather common reaction for children this age. The sense of possession begin to emerge, and children actually perceive their playthings as part of themselves.
The mother of the first little girl urged her to share the toy, and as any other 3-year-old, she bulked and refused. Instead of continuing to encourage the little girl to share her precious toy, the mother started to verbally label her as "always being stingy (小氣) and overbearing (霸道)" to rest of the friends around. And this is quite a common occurrence in Chinese culture. The mother might have done that in a way to apologize for her daughter's unwillingness to share her toy. Perhaps she did so to dodge any criticism on her parenting she might receive from rest of her friends and family. It could also be easier to place the "blame" of such "unpoliteness" onto the child, who might be forgiven by the public than an adult. But what about that little girl? Won't she think that she's actually "stingy and overbearing"? Will those labels continue to plague her as she grow up?
Thoughts?
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