The latest movie Avenger: Endgame is now playing, and the craze has everyone we know watching and talking about it.
My Oldest Son said that his teacher went to see the movie the first day it came out in the theatre. He's planning on seeing it again this weekend, also the next. He even got a group of his teacher friends and families to go see it together.
Our kids also felt this fad even when they were raised in a household that didn't usually follow trends. Our twelve-year-old Son went to his piano lessons yesterday and asked his piano teacher for the music scores of the theme song so that he could practice his sight reading on it.
My friend shared that their whole family went to this brand new movie theatre last weekend. The facilities were so lavishly done with plush leather sofa seats that had almost the width of a twin-sized bed which could recline at your fingertips. The theatre itself had a restaurant in which you could order your food and drinks to enjoy while you watch the feature film. Since it was a new shopping center, the entire plaza exuded elegance and style. Right now, they even had a special promotion on discount movie tickets.
After my friend's two-thumbs-up review of the theater, I was really tempted. I honestly couldn't remember when it was that I had last gone to see a movie in a theater. With the cool facilities and a hot new movie, I wanted to take the kids to dabble in these new experiences. So I told them about her recommendations and asked if they wanted to go.
I had thought the kids would be shouting horrarys and crowning me as the best mother in history, but Oldest Son stopped for one second and said calmly:
"Mama, I already downloaded the movie onto my computer. It's from China. They hit the theater faster than in the U.S. It has Mandarin subtitles, so we can even practice reading Chinese. If we watch at home, we can eat whatever we want and pause the film whenever we want. I know how to hook up the computer to the T.V. so we can all watch it together. Do you want to watch it? We can find a time this weekend and watch it together, okay?"
I agreed to my son's sweet invitation and arrangements but later found myself buried in deep thoughts.
Their father and I never have never taught them to live "poor."
On the contrary, they were born into a 4000+ sqft house in a gated golf course community. They were chauffeured in European luxury cars everywhere they go. They practiced on an expensive piano everyday. Our social circle consisted of well-respected members of society and of prestigious social status. Every year we vacationed in five-star resorts in and out of the States. When we did get a chance on the weekends, we frequented museums, concert halls, and even open houses of multi-million houses just for fun. We took the kiddos to fancy restaurants to explore their taste buds. Driving one or two hours to well-known but pricey restaurants was quite usual for our family.
Even so, our children firmly understood that all these materialistic things were hard-earned by their parents and even more so, blessings from God. They didn't have any ownership but just happened to be very fortunate to be able to enjoy these things and services indirectly. They were very clear that if they didn't put in the hard work themselves for their own future, whatever they see and have right now could vanish like dreams of yesterday.
Although wealth is typically a measurement stick used by people for success, money, alas, is only a tool, not the end goal.
Once we have money, we need to know how not to be controlled by it; even more importantly, how to surpass and not be swayed by other people and materialistic urges.
Just a while ago, everyone in my Second Son's fifth-grade class was playing online games, such as Minecraft, Fortnight, Roblox, Apex Legends, etc.
His friends wanted him to join, but my son flat-out declined.
He came home and told me the conversations he had with his friends:
"They asked me: Do you gave Xbox?
No.
Do you have PlayStation?
Nope.
How about Nintendo Switch?
Nope.
Do you have an iPad?
It's broken.
Do you have your own phone?
No.
Do you have your own computer?
Nope.
Do you even have a T.V. at home?
What good is a T.V. if I don't have a PlayStation?" He retorted.
I was laughing more and more when I suddenly caught myself and thought, was he under peer pressure?
I asked him:
"Aww~ Do you feel sorry for yourself?"
"Haha! No!"
"Did they feel sorry for you?"
"I don't know."
"Hey, it'd would be great if they did feel sorry for you. That way you could just tell them: I welcome any forms of donations!"
He busted out laughing!
It‘s important to know what is considered well-spent and worthwhile and vice versa.
We‘d never given into impulse buys or bought anything from vending machines. Nonetheless, I‘d educate them about the business of vending machines: where did the products come from, where were all the machines strategically placed, how did they price the things, what were their profit margins, etc. I‘d explain how a business or a brand works by using concepts or vocabularies they could understand whenever we encountered one.
At the tender age of 7 and 8, they completely understood the differences between wholesale and retail. Gradually, they also grasped some understanding of the international trading markets.
They knew that mommy and daddy rather spend $100 on something that is considered durable, practical and multi-functional, rather than spending $1 on something that only captured their attention for a mere 10 minutes.
They also realized that if they‘d planned well and sometimes with a little patience, something better and more worthwhile would be waiting for them.
From the age of 4 and 5, we‘ve included them in planning family vacation together. Now that they are 10 & 12, they are completely autonomous in finding a destination (fun yet educational and historical), planning the routes (closest and most convenient), packing suitcases (their own personal items plus family‘s food and things), and booking hotels (best value in terms of price and facilities). Due to these training, they
understood fully that the pricing of the hotels would vary based on seasons and locations and were able to manage and use money effectively. Dad was only responsible with driving; Mom is only responsible with paying. Everything else, us patents just sit back and relax and let our kids take leads as our tour guides.
We are very blessed to have three wonderful sons. One advantage of having same-gender children is that we indeed saved a lot on clothing.
Little Son just turned four years old. Just a few weeks ago, he used his still very baby voice and asked me:
"Mommy, whose clothes am I going to wear when I grow taller?"
"Second Brother‘s"
"Oh. What about when I grow taller?"
"Big Brother‘s."
"What happens when I grow even taller?"
"Daddy‘s."
"Then, whose clothes can I wear if I were taller than Daddy?"
I had to try my hardest not to laugh as I answered him with a strait face:
"Then you‘d have new clothes!"
After listening to my ridiculous reply, a satisfying smile spread across his pink cheeks.
I know for sure what he expected wasn‘t about that moment when he could finally own a piece of new clothes.
What he hoped for was that he could grow up steadily just like his daddy and brothers and that one day he would proudly inherit their clothes.
(It just suddenly dawned on me how pitiful it was being the lastborn whose underwears were second-handed, too!)
And I have great hope that he, too, could be like his older brothers, where he would know how to achieve a positive and balanced outlook between materialism and spirituality. A hope that he, too, would know how to discern between absolute necessity from frivolous wants. A hope that he would garner this whole education of commerce as his tool to one day make wise choices in the world.
** Disclaimer: we have since then talked to our kids about pirating movies. so this will not be repeated.
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